Only Just Begun Read online

  “And here’s me at this pity party without my popcorn.”

  “Very funny.” She looked at him with something close to a glare.

  “Tell people if you don’t like the name Mousey Mandy.”

  “It’s all right for you, you’re strong. People respect you.”

  “I’ve worked hard for that, Mandy. It doesn’t come easy.”

  “Really?” He saw hope spark in her eyes.

  “Really. Now it seems like I drew the short straw, so I want to see you outside the door to my rooms tomorrow morning at 7:00 a.m. I can help you, but you have to trust me.”

  “What? No—”

  “What’s the problem here? You a lay-abed?”

  “No. I’m up at six.”

  “Perfect, make it six thirty, then. Wear something you can exercise in.”

  “Oh, but I—”

  Ted didn’t listen, he simply turned away and walked back inside. The urge to look over his shoulder rode him the entire way, but he resisted. Unlike Mandy Robbins, Ted was mentally tough. He’d had to be. When your sister was brutally murdered, you either sank into the pits of despair or you found a way to survive. He’d chosen the latter.

  Chapter 2

  Mandy watched Ted Hosking disappear inside the lodge.

  “What the hell just happened, Buzz?”

  The dog woofed.

  One minute she’d been knee-deep in herbs and the next talking to the dark, brooding man who had unsettled her from their first meeting.

  That kiss he’d dismissed like a leftover dinner had rocked her. She still remembered every detail and how being pressed against his chest, having those big strong arms around her, felt. Her first kiss.

  “Because you’re pathetic,” Mandy reminded herself as she and Buzz headed back to her car.

  Be strong in here, Mandy. Don’t let the past dictate who you are anymore.

  How did he know she had a past that had turned her into a mouse who was frightened of her own shadow? To be fair, she wasn’t as bad as she’d used to be. Mandy had worked hard to not show her fears.

  Obviously not hard enough.

  Fear often stopped her living life, and she hated that. Hated that she closed in on herself and shut down when she felt intimidated.

  Her aunts had told her that her past may never come knocking, so she needed to get on with living her life. She’d never quite managed to be able to do that.

  In her pocket, her cell phone buzzed. She pulled it out and answered it.

  “Hey, Mandy.”

  “Hello, Bailey. If you’re looking for Buzz, he’s with me.”

  “He usually appears when he’s hungry, so all good. Actually, I was just checking you were coming to the house, Mandy. It’s makeover night, remember?”

  “Ah, no….” She’d been about to mutter her habitual response of no thanks, but her words fell away as she remembered what Ted had said. Be strong in here. “Bailey, I would like to come, but I don’t have anything with me.”

  “No problem, we have everything you’d need. Just bring yourself.”

  “Okay, I’ll be there soon.”

  She opened the back door, and Buzz leapt in. Climbing into the front seat of the car, she reflected that it was the only thing she owned that was out of character, a red compact that went fast. She always drove under the speed limit, though. Mandy had brought it one day when she was trying to be braver. It really hadn’t worked, but she felt good when she drove it.

  Ted’s lodge always looked wonderful. Subdued, well-placed lights showed off a high pitched roofline. Made of stone and wood, it had been built and decorated to blend in with the beauty surrounding it. It brought in tourists and famous people year-round. Set close to the two mountains that stood sentry over Ryker Falls, the lodge had changed the town from sleepy to bustling almost overnight

  Some had hated that change, and still did, but most were happy with the added income tourists brought. There were still some months that were quieter than the others, but it was a vastly different place from the one she’d moved to as a scared child.

  Driving out the lodge gates, she started singing, and Buzz yowled, making her laugh. Mandy loved to sing just like her father had.

  She headed down the road, passing a few driveways and then turned into the one with the name Trainer on the letterbox. The Trainer family had been her friends since she’d arrived. They formed an unusual alliance. They were the town’s bad boys, she the exact opposite. They’d looked out for her, and for that she’d always be grateful.

  Taking the drive that went past the barn, Mandy drove up to Joe and Bailey’s house. Like the lodge, it sat nestled into the nature that surrounded it, and every time she saw it, she felt a pang of longing to own a place of her own.

  “Out you get, Buzz.” Mandy let the dog out the rear door. He bounded up to the house.

  The door opened before he reached it.

  “Hey, buddy, and Mandy. Come in, we were just pouring the wine.”

  Bailey Trainer was a sweet-natured blonde with smoky gray eyes and one of the nicest people Mandy had ever met. A concert pianist, she’d come home to Ryker and fallen in love with Joe, her childhood friend.

  Inside, they made their way to the living area. Huge windows showed a backdrop of the mountains, and she saw artwork that had come from another friend, Maggs’s, gallery.

  “I bet you never tire of that view, Bailey.”

  “No, it’s really something, isn’t it. I sit there and rock Benjamin sometimes if he’s feeling fussy.”

  Benjamin was six months old and the apple of his parents’ eye.

  “Hey, Bailey.”

  “Piper, how are you?”

  Beautiful and into the later stages of pregnancy, Piper Howard was cousin to the Trainer brothers, flamboyant and outspoken. She’d adopted her friend’s baby when she passed away and was everything Mandy would never be but dearly wanted to become. If she was honest with herself, she was a bit intimidated by Piper.

  “Mandy, what’s up!”

  Next came Rory Haldane. She had wild, curly, ash-blonde hair, blue eyes, and came to Mandy’s nose. She and Jack Trainer were getting married in a few months, and she and Mandy had become friends. In fact, Rory was possibly the closest she’d come to a real friendship.

  Which is really pathetic. Considering Mandy was closing in on twenty-eight years.

  “Hello, Rory.”

  “Ready for your makeover?”

  “Oh no… really? I don’t think so. I just thought I’d spend some time with you all.”

  Be strong in here.

  “But how are you going to lure big, bad Teddy Bear to your side if you don’t look the part,” Rory whispered in her ear.

  “I’m not wanting to do that, Rory. And I told you about that kiss in confidence,” Mandy whispered back.

  “And I haven’t told anyone, but it doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten about it.”

  “I don’t want Ted Hosking,” Mandy denied.

  “Sure you do. But to achieve that you need a change. We voted, and you’re the first makeover.”

  “I wasn’t here for that vote.”

  “Majority rules,” Rory said. “Isn’t that right, ladies?”

  “Ah, I’m not really a makeover kind of girl, Rory.” Be strong in here, Mandy. Don’t let the past dictate who you are anymore.

  Mandy was starting to wish she didn’t have such a good memory. Ted’s words seemed to be on repeat inside her head.

  “Sure, you are. Let’s go.”

  Rory took her arm and dragged her to a seat in the dining area.

  “Sit.”

  “Rory, I’m not a dog,” Mandy said, finding her backbone finally.

  “Cyn’s here!” Rory said, ignoring her.

  Mandy spun to face the door as Cynthia Hope walked through it carrying a large case. In her fifties, Cyn, as the locals called her, had been the town beauty therapist for as long as Mandy could remember.

  “Hi.” She smiled, and like the others she
was pretty and confident. Mandy tried not to feel small. Tried not to give in to the need she felt pulling inside her to run out that door and go home. These people were her friends.

  Stop being pathetic.

  “Change is a good thing, Mandy.” Rory dropped down in front of her, placing her hands on her knees.

  “Ted told me to be strong in here, Rory.” She tapped her forehead. “Don’t let the past dictate who you are anymore.” Mandy made herself say the words. No more hiding.

  “Did he? Well, points for Ted, because he’s right. Care to tell me how that conversation came about?”

  “I was raiding his herb garden at the lodge.”

  “That’ll do it.” Rory winked at her before regaining her feet. “I’ve always had deep and meaningful conversations over my herbs.”

  “Here, Mandy. Have a drink.” Piper handed her a glass of wine.

  Cool and crisp, it slid down her throat, soothing the dryness. She’d only take a few sips. Mandy wasn’t much of a drinker. Much of anything, actually.

  “You’ve never been to see me, have you?” Cynthia walked behind Mandy and took the clip out of her hair. She then ran her hands through it. Mandy tried not to stiffen up at the touch.

  “You have beautiful hair, Mandy. Is this color natural?”

  She nodded.

  “Seriously?” Piper said. “You must be the only natural brunette in town that I know.”

  “Hey. I don’t dye my hair either,” Rory protested.

  “Firstly, you’re blonde. And second, how could you? It’s a head full of corkscrews.”

  “Harsh but true,” Rory sighed. “Jack likes it though.”

  “Honey, you could shave your head and he’d still be crazy about you,” Piper drawled.

  “So how about a trim, Mandy? Just a bit of styling and a few highlights. Nothing too drastic,” Cynthia said.

  “Do it,” Rory said. “Don’t give her an option, Cyn, she’ll just say no and run home.”

  She would, Rory was right. Instinct told her to run.

  I’m not running anymore.

  “Mandy, contrary to what your crazy friend says, this is your choice,” Cyn added.

  “All right,” she said, taking a deep, steadying breath. “Do what you want, but I don’t want it short. I like to tie it up when I’m in the kitchen.”

  “It’s okay, we won’t let her scalp you, we promise,” Bailey said.

  “I know, and I’ve seen some of Cyn’s haircuts. They are amazing.”

  “And yours will be too.” Cyn patted her head.

  Mandy usually just trimmed the ends of her hair herself. It was at that moment as she felt Cyn’s comb gliding through her hair that she really saw herself for perhaps the first time.

  She’d been in hiding since arriving in Ryker Falls, aged nine. To start with it had been fear, but now… now it was habit, Mandy realized. Her aunts were right. She no longer had a reason to hide.

  “I don’t want to be scared anymore,” she found herself whispering.

  They all heard, and then they were all in front of her. Each one touching her shoulder as they passed to sit at the table.

  “I don’t want you to be scared either.” Rory took her hand, eyes solemn. “How can we help?”

  “I’m sorry, that shouldn’t have come out.”

  “But it did,” Rory said. “And it’s about time.”

  “I don’t know that you can help me,” she said truthfully. “I’ve been this way for so long, I don’t know that I can change. But I’m going to try.”

  Talking to Ted seemed to have taken the lock off her mouth. Suddenly she felt the need to talk, when before she’d kept everything inside.

  “Can you tell us what made you this way?” Piper asked.

  Mandy shook her head. She wasn’t ready to go there yet. Didn’t know if she ever would be. It was a dark, dangerous box that she kept locked inside her.

  “Okay, that’s all right. We’ll get to that. But first things first, Mandy. There are a few people in Ryker Falls you can talk to if you want. About your fears, I mean.”

  “Thanks, and maybe I will one day. For now I just want to take some small steps toward changing.”

  “Well, if you need us, we’re here,” Rory added.

  Mandy nodded, and felt more tension ease from her body. She knew she wasn’t alone, knew no one could hurt her here. She often told herself this, as had her aunts, over and over again. But she’d still been scared. Was now the time to change that? Now the time to become the person she’d always wanted to be?

  Looking at the women around her who were everything she wasn’t, she thought that maybe it was.

  “Can I borrow something to exercise in until I can get to the shops?”

  Chapter 3

  Ted hadn’t really thought Mandy would turn up on his doorstep at six thirty. He’d made the offer to help her when he was several beers down, and his guard had been lowered. In the cool, clear light of day, he wasn’t convinced spending time in close proximity with that woman was a good idea.

  She disturbed him. Something about her really got to him, and not in a “I want to be your friend” way. He thought pretty much everything about her was sweet and sexy. Thank God she didn’t dress in anything revealing, or he’d be lost.

  “All right, no need to keep that infernal yowling on replay.” Ted glared at his cat as he walked into the kitchen. Getting out the dry food, he put a cupful into his dish. The cat shot him a look, which he loosely interpreted as flipping him the bird, or at least it would be if cats had fingers.

  “It’s your fault, bud. The harsh truth is, you’re fat. Rory told you, I’ve told you, so that’s all you’re getting. You’re on lockdown, Branch. No more treats from anyone.”

  The diet seemed to be working, but who could really tell under all that fur. Ted also wasn’t 100 percent sure his staff weren’t still slipping the cat treats.

  The soft tap came when he was finishing his first cup of coffee while reading emails. Still sure it wasn’t her, but one of his staff, he opened it—and nearly swallowed his tongue.

  “Wh-what happened to you?”

  Her hair seemed to have changed color overnight. Even pulled back in its habitual band, he could tell it looked like it had streaks in it. It also looked really silky and curly. He wanted to touch it; instead he wrapped both hands around his mug.

  “What do you mean?” She looked ready to retreat.

  “You look different,” he made himself say slowly. “In a good way,” he added. “Not that you didn’t look good before, but you look… different,” he said, sounding like a tongue-tied teenage boy with the hots for a classmate.

  Him, the man who could speak to a room of hundreds and not break a sweat, was struggling to form a coherent sentence.

  She looked so hot standing there in the early morning light. She wore a lightweight black jacket open, and beneath that a lilac fitted exercise shirt. On her legs were black tights with geometric patterns down the side of each leg.

  “The girls… last night. I relented, and they—”

  “Attacked you with scissors.”

  “Cyn….” Her words fell away. “I don’t know why I’m here.” She didn’t turn away, which made Ted feel good.

  “At least you’re honest.”

  “I try not to lie, although sometimes it’s unavoidable.”

  “I really want to hear when it’s unavoidable.” Ted leaned on the doorjamb.

  His part of the lodge was at the rear and had its own entrance. No one would see them talking.

  Behind Mandy was a view he’d never tire of. His land. Trees, fields, and part of a mountain. Roxy, to be precise. Only in Ryker Falls would they name a mountain after their forefathers.

  She thought about his words. Mandy always stood still when she was thinking, and how he knew that he wasn’t sure. Possibly because he’d spent a lot of time watching her.

  “My aunts often cook food that isn’t to my liking, or wear something that I really
don’t like either. Those are times when lying is important.”

  “Or you’d hurt them?”

  She nodded.

  “I like your aunts.”

  Her smile was like the sun on full beam. It lit her face and her eyes.

  “I love them. They saved me.”

  “From what?”

  She realized she’d said too much as she looked down at her toes. Ted knew the gesture was a coping mechanism. He’d had a few of them in his time.

  “Come inside, Mandy, and we’ll get started.”

  “On what?”

  “Your rebuild.”

  “I quite like aspects of me,” she said in that serious way she had.

  So do I. “But then some aspects are not so good, right?”

  She nodded again. Ted turned, and she followed as he walked through his rooms.

  “Hey, Branch, how’s the diet?”

  “Does everyone know my cat’s overweight?”

  “Rory’s my friend and his vet, but yes, I think they do.”

  Ted grunted.

  “You’re really messy.”

  He didn’t apologize. He had someone clean for him once a week; today was that day.

  “Really messy,” she added looking at the piles of newspapers, and clothes scattered everywhere.

  Ted looked over his shoulder and noticed her frowning.

  “I would have thought you were a neat freak.”

  “How did you figure that?”

  “You dress neat, and you do that corporate raider, in-control thing well.”

  “Therefore, I should be neat in here?” He opened a door and motioned her through. “Take the stairs up.”

  She did, and Ted followed, trying manfully not to look at the sweet curves of her butt.

  “Yes, it usually goes hand in hand that if you dress neat you are neat. Look at Rory.”

  “Who dresses messy and is messy?”

  “She has her own style, but yes, she can be messy.”

  “I bet she and Jack get on just fine then, because I know he’s messy.” Reaching around her, he opened the door they’d arrived at. “You’re smiling.”

  “Yes. I like that they found each other.”

  “I never took you for a romantic, Mandy Robbins.”